I pulled Merlin and Wild Krat from a private, religious dayschool two and half years ago because of bullying. Merlin was being called names and verbally abused by teachers and Wild Krat was being physically abused by students and verbally abused my teachers. Let this be a wake up call to parents ......my kids didn't say a word for almost a year about the abuse. I learned of the abuse only after another student at the school who had witnessed all of this stepped forward. When administration and school board where taken to task I was shocked at their unwillingness to insure my children's safety and to assure me it would never happen again. When it become apparent that the school was not taking the bullying seriously we felt a difficult decision had to be made. HOMESCHOOLING!!!!! I literally had an anxiety attack just thinking about it! I'm not a teacher let alone a special educator how am I going to pull this off! We are Orthodox Jews and truth be told our community does not do "out of the box" well. No one I knew homeschooled. I didn't want my children to become social pariahs. Homeschooling had never been on my radar but in truth after weighing all the options it was our best one.
Baltimore is blessed with many wonderful private schools for children with different special needs. Unfortunately, those schools come with a hefty price tag. In most cases upwards of $30k a year. In my experience many do not have aide for new, incoming families. Since we do not have a money tree in the backyard that wasn't going to happen. I mean I guess I could have sold a kidney but that would have only paid for one year.
Thru the IEP process we learned the public schools in the city only offered remediation for reading and math in small groups. The boys would be mainstreamed for all other subjects. After consulting with the boy's therapists, It became clear that it would not be intense enough remediation for them to make meaningful progress. It would be a painfully slow process most likely with the need for us to have them tutored privately after school. My boys were already frustrated. Who wants to go to school six hours a day and then set with a tutor for another hour after that. In our opinion and that of our private therapists the placement the school system was recommending was not appropriate but we knew they would not see things that way.
At the time we were already in a fight with the school system regarding Turbo's placement. It was exhausting and expensive since this type of thing requires advocates, expert witnesses, private assessments, and of course an attorney. We knew it would be an uphill battle and one we were not prepared to fund at the time. So like it or not homeschooling was the plan.
Last year we used a very popular and well respected boxed curriculum. Boxed curriculum is exactly what it sounds like; everything thing you need from teaching materials, student materials, and supplies can be found in the box they send. It was all put together and all I had to do was follow the instructions. For us this was a complete disaster! The boys found the material boring and math in particular was a nightmare (it followed common core .....oye vey!). I cried, they cried and I wondered what the hell I had been thinking to take this on, was I insane? We ended the year a month early and I knew I had a lot of research to do. I changed EVERYTHING! Curriculum, schedule, everything!
I saw a great quote a while back, "It's never the child, it's the teaching." So very true! After turning everything completely upside down we found our sweet spot and this year could not have gone better! First, we found a wonderful umbrella group with a knowledgable director. Umbrella groups are organizations who do all the tedious record keeping for you so you do not have do deal with the local school system. The director for our umbrella group, Wendy, helped me so much. She helped me calm down and sort out all of my options. Wendy also told us about the Baltimore Homeschooling Community Center. BHCC offered co-op classes in
many subjects and a central place for like minded families to spend time together. My kids took three classes there this year.
We also picked knew curriculum after I found my angel, Ms. R, who is a SLP and reading tutor but sooooo much more. Ms. R is one of those people who is passionate about what they do! She herself is dyslexic and took a personal interest in helping the boys be successful and confident. She spends time working with the boys, obviously, but has also has spent her own time tutoring and guiding me on how to present material so it works for my kids. The boys have made so much progress this year and I am so grateful!
In future blogs we will discuss more details about our homeschooling journeys. I do want other families out there to know that homeschool can be a wonderful option for your child! Someone recently asked me what the best part about homeschooling is. My reply was that my kids got their sparkle back! They love learning and realize the world is their oyster if they are willing to work hard! Their diagnosis does not define them. Oh and like Merlin said...."homeschooling means no bullies!"
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