Parshat Hukat: Meeting a Child's Unique Educational Needs

I recently read an article written by Rajiv Basaiawmoit, Sustainability MBA Alumnus from Aarhus University.  In 2012 a group of MBA students from the University entered in to a marketing competition to end the stigma of wearing eyeglasses in developing countries. 

In many parts of the world it is still socially unacceptable to wear glasses. For many children with poor eyesight, the school years become extremely frustrating. They have vision issues that could easily be remedied by wearing eyeglasses yet they are not being given the glasses because of the social stigma involved with wearing them. This is lead to high drop out rates among these students as they are unable to complete the school work needed to graduate. 

Even though it is hard for us to imagine, it is nevertheless the reality in many countries as it was here in the states around seventy years ago. 

This morning I received this amazing d'var Torah (weekly insight to the Bible) from a friend of mine written by Rabbi Eli Mansour I would like to share with you, below.  The subject of special needs and the stigma it almost always carries, particularly in the Orthodox Jewish community, has been on my mind for some time now. 

We have always been very open about our children's challenges and how we are hadling them. We hope by being vocal it will let other parents know they are not alone and give them strength.  

I am consistently reprimanded and cautioned by well meaning, yet misguided  individuals who are concerned about our openness in regards to our children's differences.  In particular, the challenges our older boys deal with as it not something people can see when they look at them.  They warn me my children will never find decent shidduchim (match for marriage) because of this.  My reply is always the same, "You believe in G-d don't you?"

We have an epidemic of denial here and it is doing damage to our children's neshamot (souls)!  Something we will be discussing in detail in the weeks to come!  The thinking I see regarding special needs in the Jewish community is as antiquated as eyeglasses being a social stigma in developing countries.  It must stop!

Shabbat Shalom (happy Sabbath)!

Weekly Parasha Insights by Rabbi Eli Mansour

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Description: Parashat Hukat: Meeting a Child’s Unique Educational Needs

Parashat Hukat begins with the famous law of Para Aduma, the red cow that was burned and its ashes mixed with water that would be used to purify those who came in contact with a human corpse. Contact with a human corpse results in a status of Tum’a (impurity), and in order to regain his status of Tahara (purity), the person would have to be sprinkled with the special water prepared with the ashes of the Para Aduma.

The most unusual feature of the Para Aduma is the opposite effect the water had on different people. When a Kohen sprinkled the water on a person who was Tameh, the person would thereby become Tahor, while the Kohen who performed the sprinkling would become Tameh. And thus the Para Aduma waters would bring purity to those who were impure, and bring impurity to those who were pure.

The Torah introduces this section with the words “Zot Hukat Ha’Torah” – “This is the statute of the Torah.” Rather than introducing this discussion as the laws of the Para Aduma, the Torah instead describes these laws as “Hukat Ha’Torah.” It seems that the special properties of the Para Aduma are relevant not only to the particular context of Tum’a and Tahara, but more generally, to the entire Torah.

Indeed, the concept of something being beneficial for one person but detrimental to another is truly the “statute of the Torah,” a fundamental rule about Torah education. The same school and educational approach which works wonders for one child would be destructive for another. Just as the Para Aduma waters purify some and contaminate others, similarly, an educational method can be “purifying” and uplifting for some students but worthless or even harmful for others. This is the “Hukat Ha’Torah” – that each student’s needs must be individually assessed. We cannot use Torah education as a cookie-cutter trying to turn every child into the exact same kind of adult. This would be going against the “Hukat Ha’Torah,” the fundamental rule that a system which is right for one person is wrong for another.

Unfortunately, I have met many parents who make their educational choices for their children based on considerations that have little, if anything, to do with the children’s individual needs. Too often, parents choose a school or yeshiva in Israel not to meet the child’s needs, but to meet their own needs. They might be embarrassed to tell their friends that their child attends school X, and will score points by proudly reporting that the child attends school Y. They might be concerned about a stigma associated with a certain school that best suits their child, and refuse to enroll the child in that school. They might have connections in a prestigious institution that they can leverage to have their child admitted, even though it is clearly the wrong choice for that child.

This problem is especially common when it comes to children with special needs. I recall one incident involving a child who was not speaking at the age of four, and the parents were reluctant to enroll their child in an institution specializing in this particular area because of their fear of a stigma. Rather than provide the child with the most suitable and beneficial framework, the parents were instead worried about their reputation.

The lesson of the Para Aduma is the “Hukat Ha’Torah” – the rule we must follow in educating our children. Our decisions must be made based solely on the individual needs of the child, not on the needs of anybody else. This way we ensure that each and every child receives the “purification” he or she needs and grows to become a devoted member of Am Yisrael.